Friday, January 4, 2008

5 Dating Tips

Dating, like anything else, is a learning process. There's a basic order to it. I like to look at it this way. When you relate first and date second--laughs last. Before you go on another date, take these 5 things into consideration first.

1. Be Ready
Be nice to anyone who acts respectfully. Be approachable, spontaneous and brave. Be better than before.

2. Stop Dating
Try meeting people first. Instead of "going out" on a date, try simply agreeing on a date to" hang out." I know this seems counterintuitive, but make sure this is clearly understood. First of all, this lessens the chance you'll write someone off based on superficial analysis or a brief first impression. This approach also relieves the "I'm perfect for you" pressure, melts the ice and lays the foundation for learning, enjoyment and straightforward communication. Don't worry. If you're both feeling each other, you'll have no problem changing the rules.

3. Start Relaxing
If you can't relax from the beginning and say what you think, then what's the point. It's not possible to pretend and have a real relationship at the same time.

4. Quit Talking
Instead of just filling up the time with words and questions, practice the art of conversation until it becomes first nature. Conversation is not the same as having an agenda to go over and asking fifty questions. Conversation involves adding to the discussion by sharing thoughtful remarks, expanding topics, adding new topics and following the flow. Conversation explores reasons, motivations, ideas and beliefs. Conversation is enhanced when we wait for segues and appreciate silences. Conversation allows us to learn the many levels of each other's character and personality over time.

5. Keep Counting
To maintain an objective outlook, learn to do relationship math. Why? Dating is expensive and either temporary or redundant. Love is lucrative but possible only once or twice. Friendships are unlimited, forever and contain fortunes.
Keeping these perspectives and doing these 5 things first, should help you enjoy the experiences of spending time with others. That way, if the relating turns into dating, the laughing will last, no matter what.

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